Saturday, August 13, 2005

Pre-departure depression

I'm not happy. I'm not excited.

I realise my mood is affected not by how near i am from something, but how far i am from that thing... The further that thing is away from me, the more i am affected by it.

That's why i was devastated when i thought cornell was out of reach during my scholarship saga. That's why i was so excited when i started preparing for life at cornell. And that's why i am now miserable knowing i will be so far away from home 30 hours later.

I'm leaving everything i have behind other than those squeezed into my 2 luggages and 1 haversack. That's how little i have left.

I dreamt of this day for so long... but now... i don't feel like leaving!

But i made the choice myself, who am i to blame other than myself?

Saturday, August 13, 2005

Pre-departure depression

* 7:39 PM