Friday, November 18, 2005
sense of guilt
temperatures have officially plummeted to average of sub-zero deg and are going to stay there permanently; so has my mood.
in case u are wondering how did the previous entry suddenly appear..well, i drafted it over the weekend, but did not post it up cuz i didn't exactly finish typing it...
see, i am procrastinating over
everything, including typing blog entries?! wth?!
i know i brought it upon myself: i can't blame anyone for my HUGE current homework debt.
it's getting from bad to worse... first, it was skipping class so as to finish homework on time; now, it's skipping class so as to finish overdue hw!
i never ever skipped any class in the past before! and i never had any overdue hw! (ok, i dun mean spaper hw..) wad has gone wrong with me???!!!
i dun even believe it myself. i took a
damn slow walk back to dorm just now and i kept reflecting on the past few days, past few weeks... and i still dun understand what went wrong.
maybe it's because i can never balance work and play. i had a terrific weekend. watched cornell's most famous acapella grp Cayuga Waiters concert, feasted on ben & jerry's ice cream, watched desperate housewives with a bunch of frens at christina's room until we all fell asleep and i only aroused at 4am, played frisbee on a beautiful sat afternoon cuz the weather was too fantastic, studied (ok,
attempted to study) on the slope at the field like the americans always do haha, sprang a surprise bday party for my room mate... and then, my week will get shitty cuz all my work piled up: lab report, org chem prelim, essay, math homework.......
i feel so tired and down... i can't find any motivation to work... i dun even feel like going for salsa class today... when i am unhappy, i show it on my face... ppl ard me have been asking why am i so sad/sian/dead? i can't cheer up... i feel like sleeping and isolate myself from ppl and work...
among my consolations:
1) finally decided to order a pair of silver dancing shoes that's on discount, after worrying abt my expenses
2) didn't screw up psych and econs prelims.
3) last prelim is over. yeshh.
3) HARRY POTTER tmr! (it'll be the first time i step into a cinema since i came to US aha) just hope i dun fall asleep
4) last (dreadful) lab session next tue!
5) one and a half more weeks of lessons only!
6) vacuuming my room just now: a cleaner room somehow makes me feel better...(??)
7) chatting with dada online cheered me up!
8) one of my classes changed their class blog's skin, and the girl who designed the skin used a class foto i took with them! oh well, they probably didn't have any other class fotos la, but it was nice to see the foto again :)
9) thanksgiving break is next week!
yes thank god thanksgiving break is here. i need a break. badly.
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4:14 AM
