another xiong week has gone by. gosh, i wonder how many more of this i can take.
and it looks like it's only going to get worse.
i keep saying, can't believe slope day is this coming friday! the semester is ending!! i think i am gg to miss Ichikawa sensei (and her Yuki-chan!), Tom, and Ankush, who I am alr used to seeing almost everyday since last semester!
this semester is crazily fast-paced. i didn't have time to slump into depression, unlike last semester.
i'm admitted into the Kyuushu U summer program, but no scholarship/grant to attend it. Tom, who kindly wrote the recommendation for me, seemed so genuinely happy for me when i told him. But my parents want me to stay at home as long as possible. sighz. guess i have to give it a miss.
remedy to study stress: shopping. remedy to study stress
in Cornell:
online shopping. oh yes, i did it again, spending another $100+ at VS :P well, not all's for me though keke ;)
buying any apparel online involves taking a risk. either they fit, or they don't, then you will lose on transaction costs (shipping charges, time wasted on going to post office). even if they fit, how do you know they fit best, compared to other sizes/colors/design? it's too much money and time to order different sizes and colors then return them (unless you buy on Zappos and have both way free shipping ahaha) So although i am so into online shopping now, i am aware tt each purchasing decision i make is not necessarily a perfectly-informed one.
wait a min, doesn't that sound like dating? LOL...
in any case, i just dragged a rather unwilling yx out for a brief walk cuz the weather is just too good. haha. cuz you see, the sun has been a slacker the past week, MIA-ing since its brief honorable return last weekend. walking ard the gorges/creek and random wild flowers under the sun is pretty nice heh heh. makes me wish that ithaca has only one season.
and junch picked a good day to hold a house bbq! looking forward to the good food in 1hr's time! yums!
So on almost every blog i read/came upon by chance, almost everyone in spore has/is going to watch
phantom of the opera (which is extended only up till the day before i touched down on spore grrr). so has everyone in london. so has yx. I swear I will watch it at Broadway before i leave this place, even if I have to watch it alone or pay full-priced tix. grrr.
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4:03 AM
Can you smell it?
Spring is here, AT LAST!
What a difference a few days could make - from Siberian winter to Cancun tropical weather! (c.f. previous post)
These 3 days were nothing short of
beautiful. Not just the weather and blue sky, but also the lively campus. people all hanging outdoors playing
frisbee, chilling at outdoor patios of cafes, playing beer pong and
barbequeing outside their houses... It's hard not to smile each day i pass by Arts quad, Engine quad,
collegetown and college ave on my way home, because the cheerful atmosphere is too infectious.
Too bad
ellen missed this fantastic weather. She came on the day we started getting snow flurries, which was followed by snow storm, and left the day it became sunny and hot! what luck. and she missed our awesome
bbq dinner right outside our house, with cheeseburgers by
gj,
otak by
junch, and salad by
christina and i!
i will miss
ellen for her delicious food and desserts, random long chats on random stuff, and the
life she injected into the house during this period when it is sorely lacking the most.
So, instead of going down to NYC for the inaugural
Singapore Day yesterday, i decided to stay here to "catch up on my work", but by Sunday morning (now), the only worthy thing I have done is make some meaningful progress for
AguaClara. And the rest of the day and night was wasted on online shopping, on the premise that 1) i need a dress for grad night; 2) i need dresses for everyday wear because i only have 2; 3) i need to buy clothes for myself because the last time i did that was in london!
but still, $130 in one day on clothes (which I have not even touched and tried on) is, well, indulging and spoiling myself to the max. Then i will justify myself with yx's words "What's the point of you coming to US to study if you don't buy clothes here?" LOL.
*** ***
Sometimes, i will imagine how different all this will be if that tragedy had happened on my college instead.
It is unlike a terrorist attack where sufficient intelligence could have
pre-empted it; it is unlike say an airborne disaster where stringent
maintenance and vigilance of the pilot/space shuttle crew could have prevented it; it is unlike a fire where sounding the shrieking alarm could have immediately warned people of it and immediately evacuated them. Even his teachers noticing that his writings were weird could not have served as intelligence; even sending his for counselling was not good enough a precautionary measure; even having a separate murder incident 2 hrs before in the dorm could not have served as a 'fire alarm', simply because, face it, random murders by guns are conducted every day in this country, who can ever accurately imagine and predict that the next target by the killer is not additional 1 or 2 random beings, but 30 members of the school right on the school campus? and besides, in all enormous college campuses (including mine) as far as i know, other than the fire alarm, and emails, there is NO WAY any message can be
broadcast to the entire college immediately.
and it is this
unpredictable nature of such tragedies which is absolutely disturbing. there is equal chance of it happening in any other US campus, and I can almost imagine it happening in mine, seriously. and i dare say, even after it had happened to VT, if there is just one guy who decides to do the same thing in my college one fine day, there is nothing that could be done that could have lessen the tragedy.
this is, sadly, a consequence of just one of the social illnesses in this country. Look, i am not trying to be biased against US, but say, in singapore, "Your drove me into a corner" will most likely translate into leaping off the 12th storey of a flat instead. Tthe only solution here, allow me to say something which is completely useless, is to completely change the crux on which this society is built on, and in particularly, correcting the method of venting one's disatisfaction towards anything.
*
11:01 PM
Yesterday was so spectacular that I just have to take photos
I know this year's april fool's day went past me without me even remembering to trick someone, but I swear that I am not kidding you when I tell you that I have taken ALL these photos yesterday, april 16 2007. If there is anyone playing a trick, it's the weather (or whoever up there controlling it); if there is anyone who's made a fool, it's us, the unwilling residents of upstate new york, the place where
P(snow storm given time of the year)= P(snow storm)
(ie, the occurence of snowstorm is independent of time of the year)
And so, under the impression that the probablity of encountering snow in mid april is almost 0, 3 weeks ago, I made an appointment for my driving test on this spectacular day, incidentally.
I hereby regret to inform you that the bad reputation of female drivers will continue to be tarnished by yet another bad sheep, as she joins the population of the (literally) cursed ones,
legally.
*
9:23 PM
Hi again
I am so tired that when I can wake up in the morning, I lie on my bed, under my comforter, with my heavy head harboring thoughts of sleeping forever and stay isolated from the people, things, work, problems etc outside my bedroom door.
I am so unhappy with everyone and everything that I don't feel like talking to anyone or look at anyone, and my equilibrium face is a smileless face, because there's nothing for me to smile at, and it takes too much energy to smile.
I am so sick of doing anything that I really, literally just
do nothing and stare into blank space for extended periods of time, even on the eve of my pchem prelim.
So, it is "hi" again to the devil who tortured me last semester and has tracked me down again.
*
6:22 AM
I need a second spring break
photo credits: chee and his lomo
I sorely miss the blue sky, hot sun, turquoise sea, exotic food, and happy people in cancun.
I feel like I have slogged for a long time since I came back from cancun, but nah, it has only been one and a half week?!
And worst of all,
it is going to snow TOMORROW!
WTF???!!!
Get me out of this place........
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8:08 AM
